Monday, August 24, 2015

My plan was to keep track of the weekend regardless. We were out all day Saturday which meant breakfast out, pizza at mom's which also included brownies, chips and m&m's. I was saddened to see my mom eating 3-4 little bags of m&m's and then tell me that it wasn't much and she rarely has any. But when it came to it there I was eating the chips that were in front of me on the table. After that we took David and Ethan to On the Border. I ordered a taco salad. The one good thing I did was I could only eat half. Instead of boxing up the other half.. I just left it behind. I told myself that boxing it up would only guarantee another bad eating day.

Yesterday Ethan requested Chocolate Chip muffins and I could not refuse. I bought him pizza rolls for lunch and dinner we had burgers and fries. He left at 9pm and I broke down badly. I ended up finishing off a box of wheat thins and hummus and then went to bed. I don't think I did horribly except for maybe the muffins. I'm not sure if I should attempt to track the points this week or just start fresh today. My emotions are still a mess but I am doing my best to manage it.. especially for David's sake. He doesn't need to see me crying.

I am proud of myself for leaving the taco salad behind as well as the pizza at my mom's. There was a lot of pizza left but I just knew it didn't need to be here. For me the taco salad was a huge accomplishment (as well as the home fries that morning). I hate food waste but I managed to overcome my parents voices in my head and just leave it behind. I don't regret it at all. It was definitely a huge step for me. 

I have thought about trying to figure out the points anyways.. just so that I will have a realistic vision of what happens when I am not paying attention to what I am eating.

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