This is a rough week. The girls left on Sunday and I did not immediately go back on track. I focused on work and Ethan.. and didn't even bother to shop for groceries. Angel ran out last night and got a few things. I did a quick weigh in yesterday morning and was shocked to see pain all weekend.. Just 2 games!! I feel like I am on a downhill slope going nowhere. Yesterday I got a quick thought in my head that I must really hate myself to keep giving up so easily.. I really truly just wanted to dig a hole and cry. It doesn't feel like I have been eating alot. We went bowling Thursday and I was in serious
Weight Watchers has been on my mind a lot since my friend, Roberta joined. I even talked to Angel about it. I have been debating the meetings.. they are 45.00 but you can go often. I have issues with group settings, and this is what has been on my mind. Am I going to pay 45.00 to sit in a group and still feel alone because I can barely hear? Will I be asked to speak? Will I actually hear the speaker during the meeting at all? After a lot of thought (Angel is pushing for the meetings) I decided to sign up now for the online for a month. Anna starts dance in 3 weeks and there are a few meetings during her class time. I can decide if I want to go to the meetings at that time and switch my account.
I need to do something and stop this roller coaster. I need genuine accountability. I need someone to call me out if I disappear which happens often. LOL. I need to start now. I will admit I was thinking counting calories is free.. but one of my main issues with counting calories is counting all the small things.. the onions, carrots, lettuce, etc in a salad... the veggies I may add to my eggs.. It gets to be a boring chore.. at least with ww I don't have to worry about those items since good fruits and veggies are 0 pts. I truly need prayers and maybe I need to find good Bible study to help me along.
Thanks for listening as I start over again. This next week will be hard emotionally since Ethan will be leaving on Sunday. I am hoping to dig in with lesson planning and focusing on healthier eating to distract me.