Friday, July 31, 2015

Should I get a new scale?

I am struggling some things. I have continued to keep up with smoothies, juicing and salads for lunch. Also been taking the vegetables and working on the water. My mind however is not in a good place. I need to be able to see how I am doing. The error on the scale has me fearing the worse. (How high did I go? Am I still gaining? Have I hit 350? or more??) That feeling makes my entire being want to quit. I am pushing not to but the last few days I have had to fight off grabbing comforting foods. This morning I am badly craving toast. It did hit me this morning but part of my struggles could be Angel's situation. I can't control what's going on with him so I might as well at least enjoy what I want/crave/need and give up on the rest. I know.. it's a crazy thought.
Last night, as I was working.. A sudden thought screamed at me. Buy another scale! I wasn't thinking about my weight so I was a bit stunned. The more I thought about it the more I thought it would be a good idea. So I talked to Angel and we are going to buy a second scale. I am terrified of stepping on two scales and finding out how much I really weigh.. but I also know I need to have a number to work with. It's just who I am. The measuring is difficult and frustrating. So I guess for August 1st I should have a real weight to start with if I buy the scale tonight.

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